Mean Girls-The Series

As you know, my interest lies with women and their issues. Lawd knows, we’ve got plenty of them! But we all know that. But where my true passion lies is with facilitating positive change in our lives so that we can be a blessing to our spouses, families, friends and communities. So, lately, the subject of Mean Girls has been sticking with me and I feel impressed to do a series about them. When I began to do my research, I learned that this is a very Hot Button Topic amongst women and bears some attention. Now the thoughts that I present will not be anything we haven’t heard before, but I will present them as only Inspired Sistah can. :-) Also, it’s my desire that it will spark real dialogue between us sistahs with hopes that we will all learn and grow and be the better for it.

So let me start with a definition. A Mean Girl is a woman who gossips, back-bites, ostracizes, intimidates, humiliates and demeans other women. Now before you count yourself out of this definition, I want you to seriously reflect on your attitudes and behaviors toward other women on your job, in your church or even in your family. There are different layers to the Mean Girl. She can be the bold, brassy bully that no one can stand, but she can also be a conniving, sneaky, wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing kind of sistah, too. I’ll admit I have been both a perpetrator and a victim; even as an adult, even as a Christian!

The Mean Girl spirit is insidious and you don’t know you’re That Girl until you’ve been overtaken! Make no mistake; she’s your boss, your co-worker, your sister, your mother and even YOU. But we all know that, right? Well, yes and no. Yes, we are familiar with the Mean Girl and her antics, but we don’t acknowledge some of her traits we or our compadres may possess and we really don’t attempt to foster any solutions. We just say, “It is what it is…” and figure it will always be that way. Well, I beg to differ. So in this series, I will introduce you to the Mean Girl, but at the end, I will try to offer some solutions to eradicating the Mean Girl’s behavior that manifests itself in others and even in YOU.

Stay tuned next week for, “Sistahs Gone Wild!” where I will introduce you to or reacquaint you with some specific Mean Girl behaviors to see if you recognize them.

In the meantime, feel free to email me at InspirationallySpeaking@comcast.net with your questions, comments, thoughts or concerns and I will try to incorporate them in this series.

Until next week…Be Blessed!

Inspired Sistah

Last Week's Poll Results...

Last week’s poll question was: You’ve been baking cakes for friends/family for years. Secretly dreaming of starting a catering business, what should you decide to do?

Everybody (100 %) said that you would start taking some business/marketing classes to get the ball rolling. That was an obvious answer, right? I mean no one wants to admit that they may have thought about choosing answer one, “Waiting until the economy stabilizes just in case it doesn’t work out. And answer two, thinking that “no outside of your family/friends would be interested in your ‘little ol’ cakes’” would make you seem like you were wimpy and lacked confidence. While I don’t doubt that, by faith, we all see ourselves as go-getters, taking the bull by the horns and running head first into our dreams, I think the reality is that we all have a teenchy bit of trepidation still lurking around. But that’s okay. Dream chasing is a marathon, not a sprint. It may take a few hurdles and setbacks to get us re-focused and back on course. But that’s all part of the process. Just know, in the end, YOU WIN! So, come on, let’s get it!

Let's Get It!

Here’s some food for thought: Have you ever thought about the fact that people who may have been in a debilitating, life-changing accident today didn’t wake up this morning anticipating that their lives would be forever altered? What about people who died today unexpectantly? Did they plan that today would be their last day on this earth? Probably not. My point is that very few of us, if any, know when we will no longer have an opportunity to do all the things we’ve been “meaning” to get around to. I’m not talking about the load of laundry or paying the light bill. Although, those are important tasks. I’m talking about the things that have been placed in our spirits that we’ve been mulling over for years. Have you ever heard the saying, “Time waits for no man?” And sistah, is that ever true today! If we don’t get busy about doing purposeful things, we will find ourselves weeks, months and years later singing the same ol’ tired songs about how we wish we could do such ‘n such.... I heard Joyce Meyer say, “You don’t need a wishbone; you need a backbone!”

To be in pursuit of your purpose doesn’t mean that you have to be on a mission to save the world. But what I’m proposing is that we’re not here to merely exist. There is more to life than getting up going to work (on a job that we may hate), tolerating a spouse (that we can’t stand) and sheltering children (that we refuse to raise). What is that thing in you that you are so passionate about that it is literally burning a hole in your gut? A lot of people, off the cuff, may not be able to answer that question. But if we take the time to examine where our true passions lie, we may see that our purpose could be that of being an awesome, dedicated wife or mother or to write a book that will inspire people to live beyond their circumstances or to be a CEO of a company. Whatever it is, you were placed here to do it and do it gooood!

So get focused! Stop spending your energy on fruitless things. Invest in someone or something else besides yourself. Come on! Time’s a-wastin’! Let’s get it!

Last Week's Poll Results...

Last week’s poll question was: After waking up from surgery, you are told that a hysterectomy was necessary. After reeling from the shock of never being able to have children, what do you do?

There was a tie at 44% for answers one & two. You equally thought that you would either book that vacation to Italy you’ve been dreaming of, realizing life is short, or check into a local mentoring program or review some adoption options. Deciding that your life was over and dying as a childless spinster just wasn’t an option for you. I’ve learned that we are best able to exemplify the greatest power when we get us off of our minds and extend ourselves to others. Does that mean that you have to deny your feelings or your current circumstances? No. But what it does mean is that you can facilitate your healing process by encouraging someone else along the way. ‘Cause if you think you got it bad, just take a look around the corner. That’s sobering! Also, doing some things that you’ve been putting off, while you were waiting for the “right” set of circumstances to come along, can also be empowering. It makes you appreciate what a beautiful gift life is even if things are not going the way you planned. So be encouraged, my sistah, the ability to be powerful is closer than you think. Leave the pity party to the whiners. You’re not invited, ‘cause you’re a Warrior!