To the Daughters of Mothers with Clay Feet

Mother’s Day is usually marked with a lot of sentiment for the women who shepherded us into the world, and rightly so. And as I was perusing through the Mother’s Day Card Section, I took note of all of the sentimental cards expressing unending gratitude for the sacrifices made by mothers or how their mother was their best friends, and so on and so forth. Because most of the cards were along the same sentiment, I found it difficult to find one that expressed my feelings.

I started to think about all of the daughters who were abandoned by their mothers and all of the daughters who were abused by their mothers and all of the daughters who felt that they were somehow discounted by their mothers. Where were the greeting cards for them? What section were those cards in? One reality I know to be true is that, no matter how your relationship with your mother was or is you still want your Mommy. You still want her to hold you, smooth your hair down and tell you everything is going to be okay. Those of us who are in Christ know the power and healing in forgiveness. As an adult woman, I now understand the choices my mother made. I now understand the type of strength it takes to turn him away when you know he’s no good for you. I now understand the frustration that sometimes occurs when you do what you gotta do and not what you wanna do…for the sake of the kids.

In the Bible, there is a description of a “great image” in the 2nd chapter of the book of Daniel , which was made of silver, brass, gold and iron, but its feet was partly made of clay. And as indestructible as other parts of that image was, its feet were able to be broken into pieces. The analogy of a person having “clay feet” is taken from this passage. It reminds us that, regardless of how great a person may appear, they are still human and still have human weaknesses and frailties. Understanding that my mother has clay feet makes me appreciate her more. She was just another sistah doing what she had to do to provide for her kids while trying to find a slice of happiness in between.

So, I wanted to take a minute to write a note of encouragement to all of my sistahs out there who, like me, struggle with the mushiness of Mother’s Day. Our situations may have been different, but we can give our ashes to the Father who specializes in making beautiful things out of those ashes. So, this is my Mother’s Day tribute to the Daughters of Mothers with Clay Feet. Be encouraged. Love on your mother if she’s still around. And know that, you, too, have clay feet and are in need of the benefits of that same grace and mercy that you extend to her.

Inspired Sistah's Get-It-Together, Girl Tip #5: Live Dynamically!

There are several definitions for the word “Dynamic,” but here’s my favorite: To live dynamically means to live a life “full of energy, enthusiasm, and a sense of purpose as well as the ability both to get things going and to get things done” Encarta Dictionary. The word Dynamic also relates to being vigorous and being in motion. I love it! As sistahs on the move, we have been called to live dynamically. Mediocrity, indecision and sad songs are a thing of the past. We are moving forward with a clear vision and we’re clearly focused. Obstacles, critics and haters only fuel us and are used as manure to fertilize our dreams.

We’ve done the work in January and worked on living Authentically. In February, we talked about living Deliberately and Intentionally. In March we learned how to live Boldly with Grace. In April, we found that living Joyfully gave us the freedom to live life without limits. So now is our time to rise up as the beautiful, Dynamic women we were created to be. Your time is now! Spring has sprung! The days of shuckin’ and jivin’ are over. Come on, let’s get it together, girl! The world is waiting on you!

Inspired Sistah's Get-It-Together, Girl Tip #4: Live Joyfully

Joy can be defined as "great happiness" or "something that brings happiness," while happiness is defined as "a feeling of pleasure." While those definitions are correct in their connotation, I’d like to offer another perspective: Happiness is a feeling subject to your circumstances, your mood or your hairstyle, while joy comes from what you know rather than from what you feel. Happiness can be fleeting, while joy is unwavering. Happiness says, “Roderick smiled at me today and that makes me feel good about who I am,” while joy says, “Even though Roderick did smile at me, his attention does not define my worth.”

I believe the secret to living joyfully is to live a life full of passion and purpose. The deep sense of pleasure you receive from operating in what you’ve been created for, trumps any feelings you get from those new stilettos or that piece of chocolate cake. To live in confident assurance of a life well-spent brings peace and satisfaction that is unparalleled. Unfortunately, that type of joy is illusive to a lot of people. They spend their days, either in a mediocre existence waiting on their ‘ship to come in,’ or chasing fruitless activities one after the other. Having real, bona fide joy, to them, seems like a fairy tale.

So take a minute, a day, a week, or as much time as you need to evaluate where you are on the spectrum. If you find yourself on the illusive end of joy, it’s time to really soul-search and pray about what brings you the greatest sense of fulfillment. Let me give you a hint: It probably has nothing to do with you. I believe our true joy comes from serving others. You see, it’s in the serving that the joy comes. That joy is unnerved by the economy, who’s doing who, or your dress size. I live for that type of contentment every day. What about you?

Inspired Sistah's Get-It-Together, Girl Tip #3: Live Boldly: Living Out Loud with Grace

There comes a point in your life when you need to be comfortable with who you are and where you are in your life. No one should try to make you feel bad because of your accomplishments, nor should you play “small” because others are uncomfortable with your station in life. Having said that, I believe there is a way to totally embrace the essence of who you are boldly and unashamedly. Now, let me be clear: When I speak of living boldly, I’m not talking about ranting and raving and being obnoxious. You know how you meet people who are just “too much?” Meaning, they are so overbearing that you can’t really appreciate any talents or gifts they have because they’re always up in your face. The truth of the matter is that they may, indeed, be talented, but it’s difficult to receive from them because they don’t know the art of expressing themselves gracefully. Being brash camouflages the true essence of what you may have to offer and it cheapens your gift.

When I speak of being graceful, I’m not talking about walking around on your tiptoes singing lullabies. What I’m speaking of is an inner confidence that oozes out of your pores in such a way that everyone you come in contact with has been uplifted, empowered and improved by your presence. That grace commands respect and admiration from others. It comes from understanding the art of meekness while not diminishing your true worth. I believe it is a learned quality that comes from a time of reflection in understanding exactly who you are and what you have to offer. It’s not arrogance or conceit; it’s confidence. When you are in a profession, it takes time to move from the novice stage to the expert stage. So it is with learning how to possess your worth. You have to learn to go from, “Hey, look at me! I’m all that!” to “I know who I am and I’m okay with who I am and I’m very sorry if you’re not okay with who I am.”

You know this graceful sistah when you meet her. She doesn’t even have to say 10 words. You see it in her demeanor, her attitude and the graceful way she interacts with all that come in contact with her. Can you picture her? I can. Maybe you see her every morning when you look in the mirror or maybe you’re still on the path of becoming her. Wherever you are on this journey, stay the course. Being confident and bold and graceful will attract only the most fulfilling, purposeful things into your life. That’s my journey. Will you join me?

Until next time, be inspired!

Inspired Sistah