Mean Girls Series-Part 3: 'Frienemies'

I heard the term ‘frienemies’ some time ago and it piqued my interest. A frienemy is an enemy disguised as a friend. The sad thing is that a lot of frienemies don’t know they’re offenders. Most don’t deliberately set out to sabotage your success; they just do it as only someone in your inner circle can. There’s a saying that says, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” Well, where do frienemies fit in that schematic?

I’ll admit that there are devious people out there that will deliberately befriend you in order to gain some particular benefit or inflict some hurt upon you, but I’m not speaking of them. I’m speaking of people who cloak themselves in a friendship garment, but who are secretly jealous of you or who can’t celebrate you or who are selfish and so consumed with their own drama that they can’t support you. A healthy friendship is based on mutual encouragement and support. There’s no room for hatin’. These ‘friends’ are what I call ‘SUCKERS’. They suck all of your energy, time and talent and leave you with nothing. They also have nothing to offer you in return.

Evaluate the people you engage with that you call your friends. When you leave their presence or get off the phone with them, how do you feel? Do you feel encouraged, motivated and free? Or do you feel discouraged, discontent and dumped on? Don’t get me wrong, Dee Dee may be your girl from the 5th grade, but if she’s a taker and not a giver, she may be doing you more harm than good. Good, healthy relationships have balance. Dee Dee should have a little sumtin’, sumtin’ for you sometimes.

So take a look around your life. What do you see? Cheerleaders or Dump Trucks? Friends or Foes? If they’re not for you, they’re against you. You may have to make a decision about what place they will have in your life. After careful scrutiny, you may just find that they’re more foe than friend. In fact, they actually may be a ‘frienemy’!

Next week I’m going to introduce you to some sistahs who may be lurking in the shadows of your life whose sole purpose in life is to steal your joy and kill your dreams.

I’d love to get some feedback from you regarding this series and answer any questions you may have. You can contact me at InspirationallySpeaking@comcast.net.

Be blessed!
Inspired Sistah