Mother’s Day always presents me with a mixed bag of feelings. Because my relationship with my own mother is tenuous, at best, I never really know how to feel at this time of the year. These feelings usually surface around the time they start displaying Mother’s Day cards in the stores. I know I have to broach the aisle, so I go over there, hopeful. After reading dozens of cards, none of them express exactly how I feel. Where are the cards that say, “I don’t understand your rejection” or “If you love me, why don’t you show me?” So, again, I walk away with a generic card that has a generic message that barely scrapes the surface of what I’m feeling.
Here’s what I know to be true: Every little girl (and grown woman) wants the affection and attention of her mother. She will clean her room, get all A’s in school and pursue a prestigious career just to know that she’s been accepted and loved by her mother. When those amorous feelings are not reciprocated, she can begin to look for love in all of the wrong places and become bitter and resentful. But this is not a tribute to the Bitter, Angry Women rejected by their mothers. This is a tribute to all of the sistahs who, despite not feeling the love and support of their mothers, choose to live an extraordinary life of victory, success and love. This is a tribute to the sistahs who make a decision everyday to love their children, love their husbands and love their lives, even in the face of adversity. And, finally, this is a tribute to every little girl (and grown woman) who wants her mommy and decides to honor her, anyway, despite their differences.
Happy Mother’s Day to every mother trying to make it happen, doing the best she can, showing up 100% and loving her children in the process.
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Oh, the first part of your story makes me sad for you. I understand how you feel.
ReplyDeleteMy mother wasn't and isn't the best for me, but I found a rainbow concerning our relationship. I had to learn to forgive and forgive and forgive and forgive so many times over. My mom is old now and time is slipping away. I have learn to love her where she stands in life and with life. It doesn't mean I wake up happy everyday to the knowledge of knowing my mother will never be the mother of desire, but her short comings have helped me. I am a better person. I am a better mother. I am a better daughter. I am a better wife. I am a better friend. But most of all, I am alive! No matter what vessel God chose to bring me through. I am grateful. . . to be alive! So, when I look in my mother's eyes, despite how I feel she mistreated me, I love her with all the passion God had given a daughter who had the most loving mother.
Thanks for the wonderful read. And happy mother's day!
I love how you so eloquently summed up my sentiments regarding my relationship with my mother, but please don't be sad for me. For I, too, am a better person & exhilarated to be alive and well. My experiences have shaped me into who I am...and for that I am grateful.
ReplyDeleteMother's Day Blessings to you!