Inspired Sistah's Get-It-Together, Girl Tip #4: Live Joyfully

Joy can be defined as "great happiness" or "something that brings happiness," while happiness is defined as "a feeling of pleasure." While those definitions are correct in their connotation, I’d like to offer another perspective: Happiness is a feeling subject to your circumstances, your mood or your hairstyle, while joy comes from what you know rather than from what you feel. Happiness can be fleeting, while joy is unwavering. Happiness says, “Roderick smiled at me today and that makes me feel good about who I am,” while joy says, “Even though Roderick did smile at me, his attention does not define my worth.”

I believe the secret to living joyfully is to live a life full of passion and purpose. The deep sense of pleasure you receive from operating in what you’ve been created for, trumps any feelings you get from those new stilettos or that piece of chocolate cake. To live in confident assurance of a life well-spent brings peace and satisfaction that is unparalleled. Unfortunately, that type of joy is illusive to a lot of people. They spend their days, either in a mediocre existence waiting on their ‘ship to come in,’ or chasing fruitless activities one after the other. Having real, bona fide joy, to them, seems like a fairy tale.

So take a minute, a day, a week, or as much time as you need to evaluate where you are on the spectrum. If you find yourself on the illusive end of joy, it’s time to really soul-search and pray about what brings you the greatest sense of fulfillment. Let me give you a hint: It probably has nothing to do with you. I believe our true joy comes from serving others. You see, it’s in the serving that the joy comes. That joy is unnerved by the economy, who’s doing who, or your dress size. I live for that type of contentment every day. What about you?

Inspired Sistah's Get-It-Together, Girl Tip #3: Live Boldly: Living Out Loud with Grace

There comes a point in your life when you need to be comfortable with who you are and where you are in your life. No one should try to make you feel bad because of your accomplishments, nor should you play “small” because others are uncomfortable with your station in life. Having said that, I believe there is a way to totally embrace the essence of who you are boldly and unashamedly. Now, let me be clear: When I speak of living boldly, I’m not talking about ranting and raving and being obnoxious. You know how you meet people who are just “too much?” Meaning, they are so overbearing that you can’t really appreciate any talents or gifts they have because they’re always up in your face. The truth of the matter is that they may, indeed, be talented, but it’s difficult to receive from them because they don’t know the art of expressing themselves gracefully. Being brash camouflages the true essence of what you may have to offer and it cheapens your gift.

When I speak of being graceful, I’m not talking about walking around on your tiptoes singing lullabies. What I’m speaking of is an inner confidence that oozes out of your pores in such a way that everyone you come in contact with has been uplifted, empowered and improved by your presence. That grace commands respect and admiration from others. It comes from understanding the art of meekness while not diminishing your true worth. I believe it is a learned quality that comes from a time of reflection in understanding exactly who you are and what you have to offer. It’s not arrogance or conceit; it’s confidence. When you are in a profession, it takes time to move from the novice stage to the expert stage. So it is with learning how to possess your worth. You have to learn to go from, “Hey, look at me! I’m all that!” to “I know who I am and I’m okay with who I am and I’m very sorry if you’re not okay with who I am.”

You know this graceful sistah when you meet her. She doesn’t even have to say 10 words. You see it in her demeanor, her attitude and the graceful way she interacts with all that come in contact with her. Can you picture her? I can. Maybe you see her every morning when you look in the mirror or maybe you’re still on the path of becoming her. Wherever you are on this journey, stay the course. Being confident and bold and graceful will attract only the most fulfilling, purposeful things into your life. That’s my journey. Will you join me?

Until next time, be inspired!

Inspired Sistah

Do You Love Me?

Since this is the time of year where love is professed so freely, I thought I'd propose a question to you: Do you love me?

When you ask yourself that question, how do you answer? The inclination would be to yell a resounding, “Yes!,” but our actions speak louder than our words. You see, what you do on a daily basis answers the question. What do you do to support your love (or lack thereof) for yourself? What does your attitude, your conversations, the way you interact with others tell others about how much you love yourself? Each day do you make a conscious effort to treat your body in a loving manner? For example, if you’re overweight or have high blood pressure, do you make positive choices to counteract those negatives? Do you speak words of affirmation to yourself so that you can be strengthened to make it through the day? Or is your head riddled with negative self-talk? Do you interact with others in a courteous, graceful manner? Or are you spewing venom out to anyone that comes in contact with you? Taking the opportunity to soul-search and ask yourself these questions will give you a clue as to if you really love yourself. You see, talk is cheap. I can’t hear what you’re saying because your actions are screaming so loud. So, during this season of love, sit down and have a heart-to-heart and ask yourself, "Do you love me?"

Check Me Out!

Hey, everyone! I'm in the February Issue of Alive Magazine. Check me out & tell me whatcha think!

Blessings,

Tangie