The Hand You're Dealt

When I was growing up, I hated my name. It was different from everyone else’s and I used to get teased incessantly. I was called “Tangerine”, “Tangy” and my all time favorite, “Tangerinee-Weeney”! I wanted a more common name like “Jacqueline” or “Demetria” so that I could fit in and not stand out. Then I struggled with insecurities about having to wear glasses. I was kind of homely and my hair was nappy. As I became a teenager, I struggled with not having “good” hair, light skin or light brown eyes. I was skinny and my feet were big, and I began to seek approval in all the wrong ways. As an adult, I’ve questioned why I started losing my hair in my late twenties, why I struggled with infertility and most recently, why do I potentially have an eye disease that could threaten my vision in the future.

The list of ‘why’s’ can be endless. It’s in times when I’m feeling the most vulnerable that I have to rest on what I know verses what I feel. What I know is that God knew me before I was formed in my mother’s womb and that He has a definite and specific plan for my life. That plan can only be fulfilled by me in my unique, pre-designed way. I know that nothing that occurs in my life is a surprise to God. He has already pre-destined my path and I just need to walk in it with confidence and ease.

If I would have designed my life, it would have been a whole lot different, but not necessarily to my good. I think in life we can take a lesson from one of my favorite card games, spades. When the cards come around, you don’t know what you’re going to get, but a good player always knows how to make the most of the hand they’re dealt.