Pitiful or Powerful?

Back in the day, I used to have a beautiful head of long, thick hair and when I was in my late twenties, I began losing it. It started as just a small patch at the crown of my head that was easily covered by the rest of my hair. And then it began to progress to the point where I just needed to use one track of weave to cover the spot and then eventually needing a full head of hair weave. The process of losing my hair was very painful; from the embarrassing stares and whispers at the beauty shop when I would get my hair done to the sideways glances of other sisters trying to figure out if my hair was “real” or not.

It’s been about 10 years since I’ve begun this particular journey and I wish that I could say that I’m completely comfortable with my hair loss, but I’m not. Because I can talk about it without shame, people wrongly assume that I’m okay with it. I still feel a little twinge of discomfort when someone asks me about my lace wig. I’m still disappointed and slightly angry that I get judged by how my hair looks. After all, I am NOT my hair, as India.Arie so eloquently put it. However, this is my reality, and I have a choice to make. I heard Joyce Meyer say that, “You can be pitiful or you can be powerful, but you can’t be both!” That statement really resonated with me. I had to decide: Do I want to sit around and wallow in self-pity? Bemoan my situation and ask myself why? Quite honestly, the whole pity-party thing doesn’t work too well for me. My life has been a series of challenges, and sitting around whining about them has never been my forte. Instead I choose to use my adversities as tools of empowerment to myself and others. The truth of the matter is that WE ALL HAVE ISSUES in one regard or the other.

The difference between triumph and defeat is based on the choices we make. Two people can experience the exact same hardships, but their attitudes and actions determine their outcome. There is real power in taking a situation that seems completely unbearable, completely hopeless and completely un-survivable and using it as a means to encourage others. No one says that you have to have a huge platform for others to hear you. But your day-to-day choices and conversations will convey to others that you can roll with the best of them and still come out on top. So the next time you find yourself faced with seemingly insurmountable odds, ask yourself, “Do I want to be pitiful or do I want to be powerful?” Think long and hard and choose wisely, ‘cause we’re depending on you.